Why Do We Sometimes Sabotage Good Men?
I'm writing on this tonite because it's something I've done many times and I have no idea why. I'm hoping to actually get some answers and discussion going with the men we have on Sultre Thoughts.
I know I'm not the only female who has felt as if I've sabotaged my own relationships, especially when they have been good men. I think a lot of it had to do with my own self-esteem and not feeling as if I deserved a good man and always feeling as if they would leave for someone else anyway. So instead, I would either just push them away myself, despite my feelings for them or I would become so paranoid and insecure, I would push them away by the million questions and the doubts. It would almost be a sense of relief because I didn't go through that feeling of them walking away from me again.
But is this the only reason women sabotage good men? Are we just not used to good men in our lives? Are we not used to men treating us well and is that because of the men we choose? Why are we sometimes so comfortable with a man treating us wrong? And it's not really until someone close to you is going through the same thing that you realize, Wait!!! I just went through this!!
I'm really learning to accept a good man. It's honestly a very hard thing to do when you haven't had many in your life. It's hard to accept that this man isn't the man who cheated on me. Or who lied to me. Or who hurt me. While I know I have a long way to go, because I still do get paranoid and question at times, I really try hard to catch myself and shut my mouth. Because in reality, he isn't those other men.
Ladies we all have low self esteem at times. We all feel as if there is someone younger, thinner, cuter or whatever than we are. But there is always something each of us has, that another female doesn't. When a good man is in your life, enjoy it. Savor the moment, because they don't come very often. And show him the self-confidence which caught his attention in the first place. The wrong men can spot low self-esteem immediately... A good man looks for confidence.
Let's stop sabotaging the good men and show them what we've got!!
I know I'm not the only female who has felt as if I've sabotaged my own relationships, especially when they have been good men. I think a lot of it had to do with my own self-esteem and not feeling as if I deserved a good man and always feeling as if they would leave for someone else anyway. So instead, I would either just push them away myself, despite my feelings for them or I would become so paranoid and insecure, I would push them away by the million questions and the doubts. It would almost be a sense of relief because I didn't go through that feeling of them walking away from me again.
But is this the only reason women sabotage good men? Are we just not used to good men in our lives? Are we not used to men treating us well and is that because of the men we choose? Why are we sometimes so comfortable with a man treating us wrong? And it's not really until someone close to you is going through the same thing that you realize, Wait!!! I just went through this!!
I'm really learning to accept a good man. It's honestly a very hard thing to do when you haven't had many in your life. It's hard to accept that this man isn't the man who cheated on me. Or who lied to me. Or who hurt me. While I know I have a long way to go, because I still do get paranoid and question at times, I really try hard to catch myself and shut my mouth. Because in reality, he isn't those other men.
Ladies we all have low self esteem at times. We all feel as if there is someone younger, thinner, cuter or whatever than we are. But there is always something each of us has, that another female doesn't. When a good man is in your life, enjoy it. Savor the moment, because they don't come very often. And show him the self-confidence which caught his attention in the first place. The wrong men can spot low self-esteem immediately... A good man looks for confidence.
Let's stop sabotaging the good men and show them what we've got!!
I think you answered your own question in your statement. I think you are right that a lot of woman do have low self esteem or have dealt with men who did not treat them with respect. They fall in love with the guy who treats them like trash and when she finally moves on to someone new she brings the baggage with her and when the new man doesn't want to deal with the crap she labels him a jerk. I think most of our generation were raised by single parents and we don't have any idea what a loving relationship should be like. We have an arguement and our first instinct is to say to think the relationship is over. We think that our relationship should be perfect like the Huxtables and hell they never argue. We don't take the time to think things through and work them out because it is easier to run away. Not to mention that a lot of women in relationships tend to be influenced by their single, lonely girlfriends who give them bad relationship advice.
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