Just Jump!!!!!

I am deathly afraid of heights. I haven’t always been, but over the past 10 years or so, it has become extremely difficult for me to fly, to be in tall buildings, to even walk up tall flights of stairs. Anxiety instantly takes over, my heart starts trying to jump out of my mouth, legs start shaking and the sweat starts pouring. However, when I went to Jamaica for vacation a couple weeks ago, one of the items on my bucket list was to jump from the cliffs at Rick’s Café. I got to the restaurant and saw the cliffs and immediately started to freak out.  I couldn’t do it. I watched my brother jump from the height of 40 feet. I watched my 15-year-old nephew jump from 40 feet. I watched my sister-in-law jump from about 8 feet and even that looked scary to me. I battled with myself. How could I come to Jamaica and not jump, even if it was from the lowest one? I would forever regret it if I didn’t jump. My legs were shaking. My sister-in-law finally said, “You have to do it. Come on. I’ll jump with you.” I took off my clothes and had my bathing suit underneath. I walked to the edge and stepped back. We counted.

One.

Two.

Three.

We held hands and jumped and just in that 8-foot drop, I felt as if I was on the longest rollercoaster drop in the world. I fell into the water, went under and popped back up still alive. Shaking… but still alive. I don’t think I stopped shaking for the next hour. But I was so proud of myself for doing it. Even my mother, who was terrified of us doing it, came up to me after and hugged me and told me she was proud of me because she knew how terrified I was. 

Sometimes, you have to take the chance. You have to overcome your fears. You have to step out of the norm to experience life at its fullest.

I have a girlfriend who told me recently how she is struggling with moving forward because she’s afraid to fail. I have been there so many times. I have constantly battled with myself for finishing school, for changing jobs, for following my dreams and for moving on to more fulfilling relationships or even just letting go of negative ones. It was so bad for me, people could recognize it just from first conversations with me. “You are a powerful woman with a punk ass mind,” someone told me on a first or second inboxed conversation. I was shocked and a little hurt, but they were right. I had been hearing it over and over again. It was like being stuck in quicksand, unsure of whether to try and get back to where I started from… or to try and reach the other side without drowning. 

I wanted to finish school but I had stopped and started so many times, I just didn’t want to go through the let down again. My job was literally making me sick, but I was so terrified I wouldn’t find anything better or I would get stuck in the same type of situation. I wanted out of a relationship that was tearing me down but I felt like I would regret it.

Eventually, I just had to say, “F**k it” and jump. I had gotten to the point where I just couldn’t take any more of it and it was either me or everything else and I chose me and just being able to do that was liberating. I wanted to live life without worrying about the What ifs. I wanted to live life knowing I had done as much as I could do to improve my life and live life to the fullest and I am not done yet.

Overcoming fear is difficult. But living in regret is so much worse. Live your life. Experience it. Fall down, Stumble, even get kicked in the ass a few times, but don’t let that stop you because every experience (good or bad) will bring a lesson with it. Every hill you climb, every cliff you jump from and every step forward you take will give you another tutorial of your guide to life.

Motivate yourself to Climb Higher. We are not here to be stagnant. We are to grow. 

Let go. 

Let God.

Peace & Blessings