Tired.....

I’m at a point in my life where I’m tired. Tired of people claiming to be one way and acting completely opposite. Tired of so-called friends not really being a friend unless they want something. Tired of fakeness. Tired of giving out, handing out, dishing out and always coming back empty handed. Tired of rude, inconsiderate, selfish people. Tired of always being there for everyone with no one to call when I need the same. Tired of being remembered after the fact. Tired of being the place where everyone wants to be, but never invited anywhere else.

Someone told me a while ago, that I attract so many people because of my energy. I love that. I love that I have a friendly inviting energy that people feel welcome in my presence and feel happy and comfortable in my surroundings. But dammit, I’m tired and it’s draining. I want the same damn thing everyone else wants. I want the same damn energy around me; the feeling of comfort and love surrounding me.

Don’t get me wrong. I have love in my life. I see the draw of more love in my life every day. But at the same time, I know there is so much I need to be rid of to receive an abundance of it. The idea of people being in my life just because they’ve been around for a long time is played out. The idea of people being considered “friends” when in reality, they are no more than leeches or associates or just nosey asses is played out. The idea of loving people with all my heart knowing good and well they really don’t give much of a damn is played out.

It’s time for me to replenish my energy. It’s time for me to stop giving so damn much of myself to people who don’t appreciate, don’t care and don’t deserve it. It’s time for me to separate what is from what I want it to be. It’s time for me to re-build, re-group, re-focus and release. It’s time for me to put me first because not another soul will.

My friend told me today, I’m so worthy of having it all. And I am. And I will.