Feel Sex.

I haven’t written in a while. I don’t know why. I have done more journaling as of late, but I have not wanted to share my life or my thoughts on my blog for the last few weeks. I have enjoyed my last few months of writing, whether by fantasy or reality, I have wanted to express every detail in my memory or every stroke in my creativity (literally and figuratively) because they were so profound to me, I felt the desire to yell it from the mountain top. Now, those same intricate details are so sacred and special to me, I want to keep them to myself. I want to hold on to them forever and remember them and think about them always without having to defend them to the world or feel crazy for sharing them.

I have learned the difference between “just having sex” and totally feeling sex. It is an intense sensation that takes over your whole body, your whole being, from deep in your soul to the last cell on the tip of your hair follicle. It is a plethora of tornadoes, volcanoes, lightening and thunder, rainbows and falling stars spiraling through my body when I feel sex. It is magical. It is powerful. It is breathtaking. It is something I hope every breathing sexual being can experience. It is beyond orgasm. It is beyond the actual moment of sex. It is beyond that first moment of entry and that last moment he pulls out of wetness and cream and seed. It lingers. It sends goosebumps down my arms when it crosses my memory. It forms moisture between my legs when he sends a text or gives me a look. This feeling of sex is experiencing a connection beyond dick to pussy. It is an intimacy between silence and words. It’s a connection of spirits. And when that other spirit is a beautiful one… there are no words to even describe it. It makes my heart pound and tears fall and smiles last and dinners cooked and drinks bought for friends at the bar and all is perfect and peaceful and blissful in my world.

Now that I’ve seen the light and crossed over to the other side of paradise I don’t know that “just having sex” will work for me ever again. It’s funny, because during this whole sexual revolution, I now understand the purpose of condoms. I don’t think I have ever paid much attention to the difference of sex with and without a condom until now. I just knew it was better without. But now, I get it. While they are for your protection from STDs, they are also protection from any real connection. Having sex with them is like having sex with a wall between you and the other person not even being able to gaze and enjoy all their beauty. It is empty and works perfectly well when that is what one is looking for. I don’t want meaningless sex. I want the connection. I love the connection.

Feel Sex. Live in that moment of it and ride it out for as long as you can so you can feel it. So you can experience the true bond you are creating with another person. You will realize you wasted so much time on just having sex instead of experiencing it.

I choose to Feel Sex.