Now That the Feelings Are Gone.......

I’m over you. Don't get me wrong. I will love you till the sun sets on it's last day and after, but I'm over this obsession of you. The pain I've caused myself while loving you surpasses the imaginary vision I had of you; of us and what we could be. Letting go of the belief that I could sway you into loving me the way I've tried to love you; Letting go of the want of you because I've seen so vividly clear the un-want of me. That connection I thought I had with you...with your soul... with your spirit... with your energy…it has slowly evaporated into thin air. Your walls have been restored for whatever reason and my heart is too tired to tear each brick down one by one while you constantly replace it with another one; even if it is smaller. I am over the warped idea in my head that this...this situationship...this beneficial friendship...this soulmate fuck buddy...this relationship without a title due to fear, was something more meaningful to the both of us. In reality, this was a deck of cards I dealt out myself and ended up playing Uno because I went against the rules. I fell in love. I fell so fucking far down the rabbit hole, it scared me. Shit, It scared you. And for that, I apologize. I haven't loved like that in a very long time and I probably won't ever love like that again. But I'm over falling for you. I kept hoping you would finally catch me. I pictured you there, arms stretched out to finally grab and hold me tight; and suddenly distracted by your phone or a fat ass, you let me slip right out of your grasp. I was not a victim of your hurt. I was a victim for allowing myself to continue being hurt by you. I was a victim for believing our friendship was genuine. I'm over wanting to be caught by someone who can’t even see me; someone who looks right through me and even the friendship I thought we shared.

I'm over you.

Now, let's fuck.