Love Her Till She Feels It

The other day, a guy talked to me about a dispute between him and his girl because he didn’t like doing the things she liked to do. She continuously gave him passes so he wouldn’t have to do it, but he could tell it was starting to bother her. He asked me how it is that he could do what he wanted to do (which was to not do what she likes) without hurting her. 

Is being able to do what you want without any consideration for the person you are with considered selfish? Or Self Love? Or both? Some people seem to believe it doesn’t matter what the other person wants and that it’s all about what you want because what you want is what will make you happy and what will make you happy is all that matters. I have a hard time following this concept. If everyone did what they wanted without any consideration for the person they love or their neighbor or the person on the sidewalk next to them, the world (in my opinion) would be completely chaotic.  

I told him, every now and then, don’t ask for a pass. Just go along. Make it a compromise. And let her see by your actions, just how much you care, because unlike many men, women need to not only hear words, we need to feel them. No, love is not shown by everyone in the same way, but at some point, in a woman’s heart, she knows whether or not she is loved by a man. She knows whether or not she is important to a man and a man can say it a thousand times and if he’s never shown it, she won’t believe it. 

Being able to do as you wish is always easier. Being able to give back to someone you love is always more fulfilling. A woman can fight the feeling of trying not to care. She can talk herself out of it even, but deep down, it will hurt… until she resolves to move on or until she resolves to not care and accept what is given to her. But when we continue to accept what we don’t want or what we don’t like, in the long run, we are hurting ourselves. 

Why go through all of that? Why is it so hard to just be able to show someone you love them if you honestly do love them? How do you know if you really do love someone? If that person were to walk out of your life tomorrow, would you be ok? Or would you carry on as if that person never existed? 

Sure, everyone isn’t able to express their feelings. Everyone isn’t able to say it. Everyone isn’t able to show it in multiple ways. But women… let me correct myself… many women will accept the smallest piece of appreciation from a man. One of the best gifts I ever received from a boyfriend was a hand written simple poem and flowers from his backyard. Consistently believing a person is supposed to give to you and love you and care about you when you are consistently telling them you want to do what you want to do, is not love. Every now and then, you have to love her till she feels it. It goes a long way for a woman. 

Love&Blessings