Sex is NOT the Answer....

I’m so tired of people always talking about how sex is the answer to everything. Sex cures all. Sex heals the world. Sex builds community. Personally, I think that is bullshit. Sex is basic. It is animalistic. It is raw. It is simple. And while everyone is having it, doing it, talking about it, sex is not what is needed in life. Sex is not going to bring good to the world. Sex is not the answer.


Intimacy is.


I am over the idea of just having sex. I am over the idea of just giving it up for a quick orgasm. My body means more to me than that. To have a connection with someone, to be able to sit with someone in quiet and feel their energy, to be held, to be touched, to know what is going on in someone’s mind without them having to say it….That’s intimacy. That is what is needed. That is what I want.


Intimacy is what makes sex so much more special. It takes it from a level of basic screwing to a level of mental, physical and spiritual bliss. Intimacy allows you to be vulnerable with someone, to open up and release all your fears because with that person, you are safe. People are so busy wanting to have sex, sleeping with people just for the hell of it, it seems the idea of being intimate with someone is dying. A girlfriend told me tonite, “Sex without intimacy is like depositing yourself here and there with no reverence for it....its like someone walking thru your garden and stomping on the flowers.” Why would we continue to allow someone to stomp on our gardens when what we need is to be nourished? We need to be cared for, from the outside of our bodies to our inner core, we need to be nurtured.


Please don’t believe that intimacy has to always lead up to sex as well, because it doesn’t. A simple touch or a hug to someone in need is also a level of intimacy. I realized not long ago how much I needed to be held and touched on a daily basis. It is not something I ever want to go without because I love to connect with people. Just sitting next to someone with their knee touching mine makes me feel as if I am connected to them. It is comforting. During a weekend event I went to last year, there was such an abundance of chakra hugs, which are body to body, tightly held hugs. It was one of my favorite parts of the whole weekend because as you hugged people who you didn’t even know, you felt such a connection with them, it would bring tears to my eyes. It was comforting and soothing, without it having to lead to sex.


Eventually, sex without intimacy will become draining. You will keep having sex, expecting for it to be something more, expecting love or attention from someone, when in reality, what you are seeking is intimacy. With just sex, you lose energy. You lose yourself. You lose your power. . With intimacy you gain. Everything.


To be intimate with someone means more than just giving a body part to someone. It means giving your whole body to someone. Intimacy is what the world needs. Connections. Hugs. Touch. Awareness. Eye contact. Vulnerability. Allow yourself to share these with someone else. Allow yourself to be vulnerable and open to someone, knowing they will do the same with you. Allow yourself to let go of the idea that sex is what you need.


Intimacy is. 

Passionate Kisses & Chakra Hugs