Bad "D" Reports...Never Okay....

It’s here. The nite you’ve been waiting for. You’ve gone out a few times, you’ve gotten to know him, you like him, and you’re finally inviting him to spend the nite with you. Music is on, candles are lit, you’re wearing your sexiest undies. He sees you, he undresses you… And three minutes later, he’s snoring while you’re up wondering what just happened.

Fellas, Bad “D” reports happen way too often. We love ya’ll, but you have to realize that when you’re in bed with a woman, you’re not supposed to act as if you are jacking off alone. You have to remember we are there with you, so let me give you a few reasons why you would get a Bad “D” report:

1.     2 Minute Man. Do I even need to explain this one? If you’re done before you’ve completed 10 strokes, if you’re done before she’s been able to have an orgasm, if you’re done before the clothes are all the way off, this is cause for a Bad “D” report.

2.     A Jack Rabbit without Rhythm. So when we were younger, the Jack Rabbit thing was cute. We were all excited and anxious to have sex and watched as you all got to excited to contain yourselves. We’re grown now. The Jack Rabbit doesn’t work anymore IF that is the only stroke you have. Short and quick is not good all the time. We need you to give us different strokes. Mix it up. Deep, short, fast, slow. Have some rhythm. If you don’t have any, listen to some reggae and practice in the mirror. Do Something! An off-beat Jack Rabbit will give you a Bad “D” report.

3.     Same thing, Different Day. Men tell women all the time, they like for us to be creative. They want us to mix it up a little bit with our styles, with our dress. We want the same as well in the bedroom. If missionary is the only position you giving up, you are getting a Bad “D” Report. You can use the excuse, “I like to look into your eyes” or “I like the connection” and still switch up the position. Buy a book. There are hundreds of sexual positions. Not saying you have to try them all…. Ok, scratch that, Try them All!

4.     Lick the Kitty. I know this one has nothing to do with the “D”, but it is very important to most women. You need to be able to give oral stimulation or it will go on the Bad “D” report. Now when I say this, I do not mean, licking around the edges. I do not mean the use of fingers. I mean dips and dives, tongue strokes, sucking, blowing, and nibbling. The penis has about 4,000 nerve endings on it. The clitoris has about 8,000. Take pleasure with it, learn it, and handle with care. It is not to be used the same way you would handle yourself.

5.     Foreplay or No Play. If you want to turn us on, you have to give us foreplay. Whether it’s kissing, touching, oral, good conversation, flirting, dancing, something. The yoni will not be happy if you cannot turn us on. If you cannot turn us on, you will receive a Bad “D” report. If you are more focused on getting a nut than turning us on, you will receive a Bad “D” report. Foreplay is mandatory.  For every woman, foreplay is different. Again, what worked for one may not work for the other. Learn her. Learn what she likes. Learn what she needs.

Ladies, we have to stop feeding into men’s egos with their sexual behavior. We have to start telling them the truth, in a kind and gentle way. We have to give them suggestions. We have to share what feels good to us. We can’t just keep faking orgasms, moaning when we’re really writing up grocery lists in our heads or wishing it was all over so we can go watch Scandal. It’s time to be honest with them, so we can get what we want: Pleasure.

The clitoris was created for Pleasure. It is their duty to fulfill that pleasure. Let’s stop relieving them of their duties.

Peace & Blessings