Today is My Independence Day......

It’s Independence Day. And as I’ve been thinking about this day and what it means to me, I’ve come to the conclusion that today will not only be the day America got their Independence, but also the day I take back my own Independence.

A couple weeks ago, I had the disaster of a lifetime take place on Facebook. Long story short, a bitter female who wanted a particular man for herself, took out her anger on me instead and my pictures ended up on a fake page created in my name…. and when I say pictures, I don’t mean smiling faces. I mean private pictures. And when I say, created a page in my name, I mean created about three or four pages in my name.  I spent days going from filing police reports with LAPD to talking with Chicago PD, who by the way, happened to know her. Eventually, it was dealt with, thank goodness and the pages were taken down. 

During the whole ordeal, I was devastated. I was angry. I was scared I might lose my new job. But a dear friend told me that it was a test. A test for my spirit to forgive her; a test for me to not give anyone else the power to bring me down, which has always been a struggle for me.  And as I dealt with it, I saw the anger over this situation begin to diminish. But as soon as I got over the Facebook page ordeal, I realized that in reality, it wasn’t the page I was angered about. It wasn’t the fact that this crazy chick I didn’t even know who lived on the other side of the country was trying to embarrass me because of her own insecurities and her anger towards a man who didn’t want to be settled down with her.

Number one, I was more bothered by the way my friend dealt with the whole situation, which was basically by not dealing with it at all. It was the fact that he didn’t even apologize for my photos getting out there like that. It was the fact that someone I was close to, didn’t bother to even try to understand how I was feeling or the hurt and pain I had to go through in dealing with it. Again, I found myself giving away my power. I had to accept the fact that his reaction had nothing to do with me, but in reality, it was all him. It was his own issues that made him sit there. And what he did (or didn’t do) should have no bearings on my happiness.

As my friends were receiving friend requests from the “fake page”, I was also being reached out to by people who actually cared about the situation; who felt bad that it had happened; who were quick to block and report and tell me, ‘don’t worry about it.’ I had people let me know they had my back and they knew me and they knew I wasn’t deserving of that type of foolishness.  And the love was wonderful and it helped me feel so much better. But again, while people kept me positive, I had an ex do the complete opposite.  While people were lifting me up, he was tearing me down, creating assumptions of happened and why someone would do what they did and what kind of person I really was.  And when everyone else is speaking positive words and one person you really care about tears you down, all the positivity goes out the window.

Again, I had allowed someone else to take my happiness away, over his own issues for always thinking the worse of me.  I had allowed my self-image to be damaged because of his ego speaking and because of his insecurities. In the end, it wasn’t even about the page that hurt me. It was about people who I thought loved me and looked out for me and whom I had actually depended on in some way or another as friends, had failed me. 

If I continue to allow other people to have me on strings like a marionette, I will continue to drive myself crazy. So today, is my Independence Day. Today, I take back the strings and I create my own happiness. Today, I acknowledge that I am not perfect. I make mistakes, but I acknowledge when I do and I try to learn from them. And despite my mistakes, I am still a damn good woman. I am still not bitter. I am Independent from someone else’s assumptions, from someone else’s lies, from someone else’s ego, from someone else’s anger, insecurity, or jealousy. And as I shed tears and move forward, I shed those negative feelings and recognize people for who they are.  Each day will become easier to take back control of my emotions and of my happiness. When someone tries to knock you down, it’s because they are knocked down themselves. Hurt People Hurt People.

Take Your Power Back.

Take Your Happiness Back.

Today is my Independence Day.

Peace & Blessings