Break the Shell

Today I posted a picture on my page of my daughter and my ex husband. Amongst the comments about my genes being so strong, a friend said, “And she wonders why there are issues with her and men.” I was confused. He inboxed me and said, “You’re too fu**king strong.” Again, I was confused. He continued saying, “ A lot of men don’t grasp the concept that a strong woman needs an even stronger man.  A strong woman wants a stronger man so that she can do her feminine thing and feel safe and secure doing that.” This is my dilemma.

I am a strong woman. I was raised by a strong woman. I have been a single mother for more than half my life and I have an extremely strong personality. Throw that all together with the fact that I have gone through so much in my life and everything I have fought for during my life, and you will see that this has caused my strength to increase. I am a tough cookie. The problem is, so many men see me as that tough cookie exterior without realizing that my core is totally mush.

It is frustrating to have such a strong personality that scares so many men away. I don’t need a weak man. I don’t need a man to succumb to me or be afraid of my strength. I need a man who is stronger than me. I need a man who will step into his masculine leadership role and allow me to relax and lean on him just for once. I will never forget hearing that one thing a woman must be able to allow a man to do is to trust him enough to let him lead her just as well, if not better than she can lead herself. I need that.

I may speak my piece. I may fight for what I want. I may stand my grounds on who I am and what I love. I am intelligent and competent and take care of business. But I am also a complex, emotional wreck who will cry at moment of tiredness, hurt or pain for me or someone else, or even a sappy commercial. I am sensitive to words and actions and negative energy. I want to live more in my feminine, but I do not want to lose my strength. I am still a woman. Just because I am strong, doesn’t mean I don’t need to be nurtured. Just because I am strong, doesn’t mean I don’t need to be shown affection. Just because I am strong, doesn’t mean I don’t need to be loved.

My strength should not hinder a man from reaching out to me. My strength should be recognized and appreciated by an even stronger man. My strength should not have men hiding behind me or waiting for me to speak up for them. My strength should be a man’s back up to know that I am there as his support. My strength should not attract a weak man. My strength should attract strength.

A strong woman is still a woman. Stop looking at her strong exterior and focus on what she says and what she does. If you look closer, you will see her gentleness. You will see her sensitivity. And you will see that in spite of her forte, she needs a man to be strong for her. It just takes a convincing man to break her shell.

Peace & Love