I need a Roughneck!!! NOT!!!
I seem to always get my topics from friends, so here we go… A black male friend of mine told me to pose this question so I’m going to. “Why is it that I, being a black man, who looks pretty handsome, has a nice job, my own place, a cool car, and good credit and wants to date a black woman, can’t find one? Instead, the women want to find some dudes who don’t have anything just because they want the bad boy.”
I have to admit, I have fallen into this category many times in my past. When given the opportunity to choose between the bad boy and the good guy, most of the time I’ve chosen the bad boy and gotten burned terribly. Why do we do that? Are we really expecting to turn the bad boy into a good guy? Are we looking for that excitement or that spark? Do we think we will get bored easily with the good guy? Do we think we don’t deserve the good guy? Do we look at men just for the moment instead of looking at them for a future? Is it because of the way we’ve been raised?
I’ve heard this complaint so many times from great guys who aren’t necessarily bad boys, and time and time again, I’ve seen them get left standing in the cold while the female chooses the wrong person. I’m not saying all bad boys are dangerous to our well being or our hearts, but most aren’t really what we need in our lives.
I will tell any female out there, the bad boys aren’t worth it! There is a good guy who is probably your friend, who you talk to every day and hang out with all the time…who you tell all your problems about the bad guys to, who is probably the person you need to choose to be in your life. My mother told me a long time ago, look for a “consecrated” bad boy… a good guy who knows how and when to be bad (wink). Try it. You might like it.
And for my good guys out there, don’t give up hope… Sooner or later, women will realize who enhances their lives versus who tears their lives down.
I would love to hear what type of men women are choosing nowadays and why; along with how the good men are coping with being turned down.
SultreCheck out the link below. It's called, "Dating the Modern Day Black Woman." Pretty Hilarious! :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_KMywW51Zdg
Ok I have tried the bad boy hell the last guy I dated was just that he acted like he loved me had me all in love and I mean love. Obviously he will never be a good man but they are the ones who can talk a GOOD game even thought we say we don't want that(the game that is), we still sometimes seem blind to the game. I say good guys don't give up on us, we will be your woman,lover, and friend when we learn to love ourselves. I am waiting on you(loving me now).
ReplyDeleteRhonda you are so right. We claim to be more mature than men but are we really when we pick these sorry dudes over the good ones just for superficial reasons.....i truly hope that more of them wait a little longer for women to get their shit together because they are truly better for us and when we are ready, we will give them the world.....
ReplyDeleteDon't quite know how to address this one. I think when women are younger they are into the guys who have "stuff" (I.e. car, nice clothes, jewelry)? It isn't until you get a little older do you even start to ask yourself what qualities are you looking for. A lot of women are raised by single mothers so you never had an example of what a good man should be like. Sometimes you watch your mothers go through bad relationships and you begin to believe without fussing and fighting their must not be any love (cause momma argues with her dude all the time and she says she love him) so you become drawn to men who have those same qualities and then they dog you out and you bring that baggage into the relationship with the good man and treat him like crap until he decides to give up on you. Then he gets tagged a bad guy who walk out on you as well.
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