Day Two......

Day 2 off Facebook….

So last nite, my daughter and I hung out with two of my favorite white girls ever!!! We went and had wine and cheese with one girlfriend who was visiting from Atlanta and then went and had a burger and gin with another homegirl in the valley and it was a completely wonderful, fun-filled, socially pleasing nite.

I realized how comfortable I am in settings even when I am not the “primary” person of color and how well I could fit in within both environments… Although I think the crowds had a lot to do with it. I began to wonder how they would have felt amongst my friends and decided they would have been just as comfortable as I was with them.

Today I began to think about how thankful I am for the life I have. While others may call it bougie, I call it blessed. I am thankful for my family; my parents who are both West Indian, brought me up so I was I was a little cultured at the same time as being very comfortable within my skin and amongst people of every different race. I learned how to sail a boat around 10 years old, learned how to tie a man's tie as well as a bow tie at 13 because "every woman should know how to tie her husband's tie," according to my father. I travelled to Hawaii, Europe, and all across the country while I was young. I'm sure in a lot of aspects, I was rather sheltered, but I think that was better for me. 

 I am thankful for my cousins who I was close to while growing up and who I love dearly today. And for the cousins who I wasn’t close to growing up, but are like my best friends today. I’m thankful for my friends. You know, it’s amazing to recognize who your real friends are. It’s amazing to realize the ones who will be by your side when the world is falling apart, because everyone wants to be around you when the world is perfect. But those who are there when you are having rough times…. When you are in the dumps…. When you are crying… in the hospital… just having a rough time in general… Those are the ones who I am thankful for. Even the ones who don’t call very often, but I know that if I call them for anything, they would be there. I am thankful for the ones who I have had for the past 40 years and for the ones I have only had for the past 4 months. I am thankful for the ones who want to kick my ass because of my situations and the ones who sit and listen to me whine and bitch and complain because of my situations. 

Life is what we make of it. We spend so much time stressing over things we can’t control or things we can’t do anything about, when in reality, we should just be concerned with what we are doing. I know it’s hard. Believe me, I go through it every day of my life. We see so many people do so many f***ed up things, we want to shake them till they can see their own bullshit, but it’s just not possible. We learn when we finally wake up. We learn when we finally recognize that what we are actually doing, thinking, believing, feeling, portraying and living is just wrong or completely false. And that usually takes a long time. Sometimes, it never happens.

But what we make of our lives… what we believe, and how we treat people and how we live… will always come to light. It will be shown in what we accomplish, in who are friends are, in who loves us. I have been around and shared time with so many people who don’t really have friends in their lives. They have associates or people who they know, but no real friends around who they can call on, who they can hang out with, who they can share with at all. I think that says something about them as individuals.

Live your life. Live it Lovingly. Live it fully. Live it honestly. Because when I die, I want people to be able to say, “She laughed. She lived. She loved. Completely and Wholeheartedly.”

Spreading Light & Love